*
I’m finding myself very happy in the tiny house. The more shit I don’t have, the happier I get. It is a deep and genuine feeling of joy and expansiveness, the opposite of what you might expect. Instead of loss, there is freedom. Instead of worry, there is ease. The few things I have left glow with the light of a deeply loved object, well cared for and in its place. Anything my eye lights on is a tiny, perfect work of art, one with a history and a burned in trail of memories.
The only thing that sticks in my craw lately is my job, which I cannot abide of late. I got no murders to work and all that’s left is low quality, mind-numbing, redundant investigative work for which I have no passion. Which leads to a lot of procrastination, which makes me want to avoid it all even more. I can see retirement a few years off and it calls to me like the best summer vacation ever. I keep looking up from my homework at the big clock over the teacher’s head, waiting for three-fifteen. Antsy and chewing the end of my pencil, my feet bouncing under my desk.
“Come on!”
*
When it’s over I suppose I’ll miss it.
*
Not much, though.
*
I hope you are feeling happy and blessed, I hope you are loved real hard by everyone around you, I hope you love them back even harder we are going to be dead a long fucking time.
*
Namaste.
***
Mel said:
I have been reading you, I have been a a loss for words and have wanted to comment so many times. My tools aren’t up to the task, not right now.
I’m so glad you are happy in your tiny house, just the thought of it makes me envious and hope you get that retirement real soon.
I going to steal your last sentence, it is perfect.
xo
tearfuldishwasher said:
Mel-
Your tools are perfect. Thank you, and I’m so happy to know you are still reading and stopping by. I’m glad to hear anything you ever have to say.
I think that last sentence is a good one, too.
Love,
Scott
Mary Moon said:
I’m quoting you on my post today. Thanks. As always.
tearfuldishwasher said:
Mary-
Coolio!
I think our brains overlap.
yrs-
Scott
Beth Coyote said:
I recently moved to a wee house after 13 years in a (comparatively speaking) mansion.
I kept the books I love and need. And all my camping/hiking gear. I bought a new small bed. I can mow the lawn with a push mower.
Retirement soon. Something my old man never got to have. He’d be in waders in a trout stream, waiting for a big one.
~Beth
tearfuldishwasher said:
Your new house sounds wonderful, that way of living with things distilled to their essence.
Checking out before you get to enjoy your retirement is a real shame. He might be in a trout stream now anyway, you never know.
I am so glad to see you here, thanks for saying hi!
yrs-
Scott