Gonnerman-Kalief-Browder-320

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Rest easy, brother. I’m sorry for what we did to you.

***

I guess I don’t believe in the chances  of making a system where what we did to him just isn’t possible. I think it’s inevitable, given the numbers and given our human frailties.

Still. We should admit it when it happens.

I feel sick in my human soul for it.

***

I ran into someone at the store after work. She came up said hi, gave me a hug. She’s someone I used to arrest a lot back in the day. She said I saved her, in a way, said thanks for being who I was, how she always felt like I kind of gave a shit about her, that I didn’t just see a junkie. It was sweet. She’s real sick now, says she doesn’t have much time left.

You don’t know how you might be affecting things. You might sometimes do a small measure of good. It’s possible.

***

I got called out to the lobby today- in my job when there’s a “dangerous” person causing problems for the lady at the front desk, I’m the one they call. I’m on my way there, ready to go stomp a mud-hole in this guy, but I end up sitting with him in the lobby and in a minute he’s in tears and I’m handing him a box of tissues. He goes out like a lamb, thanking me.

***

You think I’m an exception, but I’m not. And you probably think I’d never be the guy who puts a bunch of bullets into some unarmed kid. But I could be that guy on the news tomorrow.

You just don’t know how things are going to shake out.

***

My Grandma is in the hospital again, fell and broke her hip. Second time in a year. She’s 93. I sat with her a while today, just trying to soak her in, be present, make her laugh a little bit.

I can see the fear in her eyes.

I guess it’s always a shock.

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I’m glad to be here, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

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How are you?

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