My woman’s been hell and gone trying to find us a new rig. I tell you what. She’s a damn pro now, though, know’s what’s what on sight. When she does finally pull the trigger on one, I know it’s gonna be tits.
I’m grateful to her, all the work she puts in.
I think we got a good thing going. I been lately feeling the years, you know, we’ve got friends getting sick, kids grown up and having more kids, I can look at a fence I built twenty years ago needs tearing down, you know, shit, we been on this planet a while now, we’re rolling into the dusky shadows of late afternoon. But man it gives me such pleasure to know her, to have used up these years with her, to have grown together like a couple of trees entangled at the trunks, branches and roots all intertwined. You couldn’t just cut one of us down anymore. We could go a week without a word between us and still know exactly what the other was thinking. She gets an itch and I start scratching. I get thirsty and I look around and she’s got a glass in her hand, headed my way. I couldn’t love her any better, at least I can die happy knowing whatever ways I failed this world failing in loving her won’t be one. Maybe I do it wrong sometimes, but I always do it.
You wouldn’t believe the oxytocin flowing around these parts with that new grandbaby. Awful lots of cooing and ahhing and isn’t he the cutest thinging. It’s sweet. It’ll melt your cold heart. There was times around here I would have put up even money we was past all the happiness, that we’d used up our allotment and had only the wasteland left to traverse. I’m glad to see I was wrong.
I was sitting the other day out on the back deck where I like to meditate and it hit me that what we’re always craving is to perceive these wonderful things, I mean, from a spiritual wonderment perspective we kind of seek these transcendental, holy states. I kind of always held in my mind since I was a kid I wanted to see wonders, I remember sitting in church imagining that if God really existed he should reveal himself to me by making the big cross levitate, or glow with light or something. You know, a sign. And even starting to meditate, I thought what I wanted was to see the world behind the world, to directly perceive the emptiness and bliss, to see Buddha or have my head explode or something. I don’t know. But anyway, what struck me was this focus on what was being perceived, like that was the deal. If you were spiritually creamy enough, you’d perceive something wonderful and amazing. Completely missing the point that it is perception itself that is wonderful and amazing. Know what I mean? It’s like, okay, isn’t that magical enough for you? You can pick up on the play of photons striking atoms and from that your brain creates this vivid and remarkable world full of birds and blue skies and wind through tree leaves and the face of your beloved, all manner of wonders and glories.
We get a never-ending magic show, day and night.
Wonders never cease.
Wonders never cease.
Think about that for a second, it’s the literal truth of things.