Never very good, I’m at my worst without her.
I miss her bad already.
take the dog for long walks.
take myself for even longer walks.
read more Alvaro Mutis.
wash the floors.
eat my liver.
go for another walk.
I really am grateful for this stupid life. I got more than most folks, certainly more than I deserve. I don’t want for anything. Okay, I got this idea for a house I want to build, overlooking the sea, with woods and hills behind it, three miles down a dirt road.
But that’s just a wish, not anything I really need.
what I need is to keep my eyes open and to listen to the people close to me so I can love them the way they ought to be loved. So I can give them, not what I think they need, or what I think I need, but what they actually say they need.
and I need to take myself out back and kick my ass.
I need to be a good friend to myself.
more gnawing the bones, more pacing ahead.