So far today I have:

1. Made a pot of coffee and forgot to drink any of it.

2. Made grilled chicken andouille sausages for breakfast and left them unattended in the grillevator until they were nothing more than shrunken, blackened twisted up snakes throwing off acrid smoke that filled the house.

3. Repeated # 2.

4. Ate toast instead.

5. Still forgot to drink the coffee.

6. Got in the shower right after I loaded the washing machine with whites, which I wash in hot water.

7. Took cold shower with tiny, hard sliver of soap.

8. Tried to brush my teeth with my whiz-bang electric toothbrusher.

9. Toothbrush will not turn off. It’s still sitting there buzzing in the soap caddy.

10. Got under the heavy dinner table to wait out the rest of the day.