*

There is yet goodness in the world.

*

Though you be blind to it, it yet exists.

*

Tomorrow I get to go to the range all day and instruct on the killing arts.

*

*

I’m thinking all the time of my dear wife, doing her best to take care of her mom out there in the everglades or wherever the fuck she is. That state, I don’t know.

She’s a goddamn trooper, is what. I never met her equal. I could spend ten thousand years just hanging out around her. She wouldn’t even have to speak to me.

I got it bad for her.

*

Sometimes I feel like there is a really good, really centered and spiritually creamy person underneath all the layers of anxiety and worry and laziness and tooth-grinding stupidity I seem to be wrapped in. Most of the time I’m pretty sure that for every layer you might pull off there would just be another layer exactly like the last one. A bitter, nervous core under layers of bitter nervousness.

I’m damn near fifty and I still feel like a third-grader waiting for his daddy to come home and whoop his ass for failing arithmetic again.

What a sorry thing.

*

Fortunately, I don’t take none of it seriously.

Only thing I take serious is love, and you can take that to the goddamn bank.

*

Namaste.

***

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