prayers to summon
the destroying angel
moon stuttering in the sky
stuck in a projector
The Mountain Goats, Tallahassee
We watched the movie “Dogtooth” a couple of weeks ago.
I cannot get it out of my mind.
I don’t want it to leave.
It is a dark, deeply disturbed and disturbing film that I found utterly intoxicating. My god, though, don’t go see it if you find nothing funny in cruelty. Especially the cruelty of parental love.
Not all of it unintentional.
Today is a quiet day of laundry and housecleaning and dog washing. The sun is shining, the sky blue, and I’ve thrown open all the doors and windows so the world can come inside if it wants. I’ve got The Magnetic Fields blasting, and I’ve got coffee and I’ve committed art.
I want to take a hammer and crack my head open.
I mean that in a good way.
Okay, let’s think about this for a minute:
Something like ninety percent of all of our sensory input gets thrown out on its way through our neural processing net. And we’re already only getting a tiny sliver of what’s out there. Then what gets used is almost entirely unavailable to us consciously. It’s all done behind the curtain of our unawareness.
Then of that sliver of a sliver of a sliver that does get through we largely ignore, misinterpret, or find unbearable. We drink and drug and distract ourselves so we don’t even have to deal with that tiny fraction of the world that makes it through our defenses.
Then we use this sad little sliver of ‘facts’ to make up our minds about the way the world works and by god we won’t be swayed once we’ve decided.
Seems like a pretty good way to proceed.
I don’t know how anybody makes up their minds about anything.
I wish I could make an atomic bomb of love.
I’d drop that bitch on all of us.