How is it that today I did not awaken to ruin?
How is it that I was spared?
Why are my teeth not broken?
Why did no men pull my baby from my arms and hack her apart with machetes?
It wasn’t my turn.


Today I got Kyle Lamb’s book, “Green Eyes & Black Rifles, Warriors Guide to the Combat Carbine.”
If you carry long arms into harm’s way, this book is for you. Some of his rifle drills can be found on Youtube, the Highsmith drill being one of my favorites. I stole it and incorporated it into my training, and it blew me away.
Kyle did a great job with his book. It’s a great all-around reference.
Sometimes I am good. I do what’s right. I work out hard, eat right, get plenty of sleep.
Right now I won’t work out or slow down my drinking and half the time I won’t sleep.
I go back and forth from one end of the see-saw to the other.
I cain’t find the balance.
To the consternation of the woman who loves me.
Sometimes I get tired of wading through shit for a living.
I just ain’t suited for nothing else.