****

So.

***

I’m in this class, Officer Involved Shooting Investigations. This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I like these. I like to do them, I like to be involved in them. I was sitting in class today thinking about what I like on the job and here is my list:

homicide investigation
officer involved shooting investigation
autopsies

one of my very favorite things that involves all of the above is trying to figure out the mechanism of wounding, the sequence of shots, the body positions, etc.

this is very, very, very complex a lot of times.

It is a kind of mathematics, and physics, and biomechanics, etc.

A puzzle, if you will.

***

In the midst of human catastrophe.

*

So. I am some kind of voyeur.

Peeping dishwasher.

*

In this job, there are a million things I can’t get it up for. Property crimes. Financial crimes. Fucking embezzlements, insurance fraud, forgery, whatever.

Also, labor relations.

*

I like it if there is somebody dead and someone who did that do them. I like it if someone has to do something heroic to survive. I like it when the good people win and the bad people don’t.

I like when the weak are protected from the predatory.

I would like to kick the predatory in the teeth, and then make fun of them while they are trying to pick up their teeth with their broken fingers.

***

I am a deeply flawed human being.

*

I have all of these luxuries. I have all of these deep, disfunctional feelings and beliefs.

*

I don’t know if you should fear me or be glad I am out there.

***

Namaste.

*

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