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Last night I went over to my brother’s house to watch the fights. While our truck was parked in front of his house a drunk driver plowed into it, driving it up onto the sidewalk and folding the rear axle.

So, yesterday we had a truck, today we don’t.

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I guess I always need these reminders. You think you have something. A truck, or your health, or a friend, or a job or a house or a marriage. A grip on things.

You don’t, though.

At best, you get to sort of check them out for a while. It’s a lending library.

You gotta give it back.

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Some shit’s overdue, even.

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Then one day you go and they take your card.

It’s no good anymore.

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You don’t get to check anything else out.

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Pema Chodron calls it “groundlessness.” We are comfortable, then something happens, we’re not feeling so good anymore.

What happened? I thought this was going to last…

We don’t like it. We don’t like to feel things shift under us. We want it solid. We want the world to be a place we can count on. But it isn’t. The nature of the world is that very groundlessness we seek to hide from. Go drink on the deck in the dark and watch the glowing tip of your cigar as the stars wheel, thinking you are a special case. You are and you aren’t.

You are and you aren’t.

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So, anyway. Today I’m trying my hand at remaining in the uncertainty. Not fighting it, not hiding, not trying to change it.

Just be there in it.

Breathe.

Take a look around.

Breathe…

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