One thing is last night I was having this dream and in it I was standing in front of myself, like a gameshow host, and I was comparing my dream life with my real life and I had to guess which was which.

“Okay, Scott, here you are in an elevator in Japan. The elevator is rocketing toward the basement at a hundred miles an hour. Dream? Or your real life?”

“I dunno.”

“Here you are standing in front of a shipwreck with monkeys swinging in the rigging. You’ve got your hands on your package and you’re squinting into the sun. Dream life or real life?”


“You are in a helicopter being flown by your father and you are scared shitless that he’ll crash and you’ll both be killed. You are coming in for a landing in a park filled with kids and families having picnics and throwing frisbees.”

“Uh, lemme see…”

“Now you are standing over a dead body. You take a pen from your pocket and you lift up the dead guy’s hand and under it is a little stuffed mouse. There is blood on its fur and it is laying on its side.”


“Or what?”


I can’t tell the difference.


Right now my wife is cooking some bitter greens and roasting potatoes and slicing up some tofurkey sausages and pretty soon we are going to eat. Earlier we were lounging side by side, her in the chaise lounge and me in the dadarondack chair, rereading old New Yorkers and listening to the chimes gong in the breeze. Before that we’d been doing something else…


I love these goddamn photographs.

Playing with dolls.

Like a dog with a bone, I can’t give it no rest.


Where’re those damn limes???