This deep unease continues. Nothing seems to help much. Tonight I lost patience with my yoga and quit a few minutes into my practice. Uncomfortable in my mind, I am uncomfortable in my body, too. I can sense the tension in my breathing, in the muscles of my back, neck, and shoulders. My gut burns. My eyes ache.
I am creating this.
So how do I make my way through?
I accept it. Don’t try to fight it. Breathe into it, settle down, settle in. Feel what I am feeling without trying to change it or deny it or wish it away. To be here now.
Easier said than done, but it does give a sense of the course I should plot.
Work got very interesting again today. I have some heavy lifting in store; some good, good potential for serious work.
But the opportunity comes with its own set of costs.
The obstacles are numerous and not all of them are visible.
There are no lookouts on the bow.
I am in the cabin, pacing.
None of this is intended as a complaint. I am only trying to give an accurate, if muddled, sense of where I am and what I am wrestling with right now.
I am no less blessed now than when I am blissed out. This is the same thing, nothing has changed.
Yet I am uneasy.